禁欲6日目 憂鬱

自慰禁

I got depressed this morning without any specific reasons. I don’t know why I feel blue. I was almost going to call my office and skip morning job, but I’m going to work actually.

The reason I can think about could be medicine. I got backache on this Monday when I was exercising. It was kinda thunder backache. Not so serious one compared with I got last time, but it is enough to take out my cheerful feeling. And medicine I’ve been taking is pain killer n muscle reliever. I guess such med affect human mind and could depress ppl.

Especially, I feel I’m kinda sensitive for med. I might be able to say I’m sensitive for substances in my brain. It might be related why I got addicted to masturbation before. My brain absorbs emitted substances in my brain well and feel both good way and bad way very sensitively.

But I will work hard n live hard today. I don’t want to be controlled by this blue emotion. I will beat it up.

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